A Poodle Person Who Hates Christmas?

I spent some years hating Christmas, I admit. It’s because I’m an elf. When we first moved to the mountains of western North Carolina 15 years ago, we of course went looking for work for which we were suited. Our family entertainment company made a good living for us in Florida, where our clowns, jugglers, fire eaters, super heroes, puppet shows and other costumed characters were hard at work every weekend and most of the week. But there aren’t a million people in a 30 mile radius of this homestead.

We used to have up to a dozen clown-elves covering six malls from the week before Thanksgiving through Christmas Eve. We have the costumes and the skills, so signed on as “Papa and Mama Elf” – plus Bob and Kenya the Christmas poodles – to do the stage shows at a seedy Christmas theme park in Cherokee. Basic clown stuff, some juggling and some dumb magic tricks. Bob and Kenya sported Elizabethan red and green collars, did the meet-and-greet at the theater door and gladly accepted love from the kids on their way out after the show was done. The kids loved it. The poodles loved it. We didn’t love it all that much…

Six shows a day, seven days a week, six months a year from May through October. In god-awful costumes, wigs, hats, tights, striped thigh socks and curly felt boots that are hot to wear in December. We quickly found that in July when it’s 95º in the shade, they’re unbearable.

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How “Intelligent” Are Our Dogs… Really?

Imagine watching a Big Headline News story blaring the “shocking” news that scientists have discovered that dogs can tell the difference between red lights and green lights. Whoa, you might think, you guys believed they were red-green color blind? How did you make this earth-shattering discovery, the CNN interviewer innocently asks…

“Vell,” the white-haired egghead in the lab coat begins in his thick Austrian accent, “ve taught zem how to drive, and found zey stopped at all ze red lights while proceeding through all ze green lights!”

It’s the cognitive dissonance that makes a joke like this funny. But wait! There’s more, and no, it’s NOT a joke!

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“Go Fetch Gramps, Timmy’s In The Well!”

It it just “tricks” or is it real skill?

We “dog-people” have known for awhile that television’s classic “Lassie” was a series of purebred collies (mostly male), trained to do all the tricks dramatized in the long-running series and its spin-offs from the 1950s to the 1970s.

We “Poodle-People” are used to dealing with a particular breed of dog that is so famous for its intelligence and desire to perform that many people on the street see a poodle and think “Circus Dog.” Performer. Actor. “Trick” dog.

I found a great web page this week entitled What is a Trick? written by standard poodle owner and dog trainer Charlene Dunlap. It examines the question of whether what poodles can be trained to do qualifies as actual learned skill, or just “tricks.”

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Putting On The Pood: Sharing the Warmth

Poodle People spend a good deal of their time grooming their friends, and even more time running their fingers lovingly through those soft, curly locks with great delight. An owner can spend a small fortune on professional haircuts, or do what my family’s done – buy a good trimmer and a set of blades and combs. There’s always the ‘extra’ grooming that needs doing (nail clipping, ear hair removal, bathing and brushing), but a basic kennel cut isn’t that hard to accomplish. Poodles are used to the attention, even enjoy it if you are fairly competent.

After a “shave the poodle” weekend at our homestead I’d end up with a couple of brown paper grocery bags full of soft, curly poodle hair I always wanted to spin into yarn for scarves and hats, but I don’t know how to spin. So it was that our poodles’ hair ended up as a flattened felt-like foot-wide mat covered with bark chips from the wood chopping block marking the garden fence line. It’s a pretty good mulch to keep weeds down, it eventually biodegrades, and is a surprisingly effective deterrent against deer, foxes and rabbits getting through the fence to raid the veggies.

After surfing around this past week, I am delighted to report that there are instructions for spinning poodle hair out there on the web, along with more than one enterprise that will spin your poodles’ hair into yarn for you, even do the knitting, crocheting and weaving for a fee!

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Pet The Poodle – $1

There’s something about poodles that automatically draws people. Not so much the toys, who are as notorious as any other way undersized dog for yapping and snapping. Or the prissy minis that so often sport the most outrageous of showy clips and puffed frizzy hairdos (when they aren’t also dyed to match their owner’s outfit). Of course, Poodle People never pass up the chance to admire a poodle, no matter what size.

Standards are something else. Unless they’re show dogs, the most popular of clips is the basic kennel cut – where the hair is cut short all over, a little longer on the top of the head and the ears. While you do have to clip a big poodle regularly no matter what hairstyle you like best, the all-over kennel cut shows off the dog AS a dog, and people generally do love to appreciate a fine looking dog.

Poodles get a lot of of attention in public that many other similar sized dogs don’t get, for some reason. When walking our poodles in public, at parks, on trails or on the beach, people will go out of their way to approach us and our dogs, and for some unexplainable reason don’t seem the least bit shy of reaching right out to pet them and stroke them and even (mostly kids) hug them. People will cross the street, run away from dining tables, climb hills or stairs to get to a poodle. Very strange.

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The Personality of Poodles

“They say poodles aren’t ‘real’ dogs. At least, that’s what I tell motel desk people when we’re on the road with our Imperials and they say dogs aren’t allowed. It almost always works. In truth, their intelligence is amazingly human-like. They learn quickly, are highly creative, and love to be stars.”

That’s from the ‘About’ page of this blog. It describes something every ‘Poodle Person’ knows, and it’s honestly isn’t that difficult to convince other people – like your average motel desk clerk – that it’s true.

For a young guy being set up with a blind date, ‘personality’ isn’t necessarily a strong recommendation. Parents attempting to deal with a high-energy, short attention span child who might be better off on Ritalin, ‘personality’ can be a descriptive defense mechanism. The word itself contains the noun ‘person’, which does seem fairly exclusive to human beings. Yet poodles are famous for having personality to spare.

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Championship Poodle Wrestling

Our poodles have all been big dogs. In the Imperial range, they weighed in at between 60 and 80+ pounds of well-shaped critter. Despite their reputation for intellectual prowess and high-dollar doggie superiority, poodles are like any other dog when it comes to having fun… they love to play.

And anyone who has ever owned and loved a big dog will tell you, wrestling with their masters – in the grass or just on the living room floor – is one of the most favored forms of play. Because we were already show-folk when we were gifted with our first standard poodle, the next step was entirely predictable.

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